idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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