Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
