Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
