he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
