"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
