I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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