remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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