Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
