i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize