i think my mom watched the whole time
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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