It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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