Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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