i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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