My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
