Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
