I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
