I can't breathe out the right side of my face
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
