The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
