So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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