and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm at about main and main street
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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