Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize