i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
