I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
