My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize