nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
