that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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