I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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