Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
