Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
