your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
