The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
