we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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