i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
