doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
