That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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