And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
