She is in my trunk
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I believe in your delicious
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