guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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