You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
