right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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