and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize