there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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