So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize