Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
