Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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