Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
