The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
