My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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