You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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