Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
