Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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