is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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