i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
