Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
