So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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