I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
