I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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