My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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