I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
