after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
