I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
