Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
