He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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