halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
