yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize