How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
