oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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