The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
