you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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