Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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