But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
