opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
