so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
