i was born a porn star she said
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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