Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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