Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
