he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
